Showing posts with label hideous monstrosity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hideous monstrosity. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

"WTF?" A poem.

I wrote a sort of poem-like thing for you. You're welcome.

WTF?

We tell fables
wanting to feel
we're truly free.

Well, that's finished.
We're totally fucked.
Welcome to fascism!

(image credit -- KC Green, Gunshow)

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Trey Gowdy Greedo

I've posted a comment at a couple places that the Teahadi's new Benghazinvestigator looks like Greedo from Star Wars and that Barry (and/or Hillary) should shoot first, just like Han Solo did. I couldn't resist making a hideous animation:

(click to enjoy it in it's full-sized hideousness)

Yes, the color and typeface surrounding the asshole in the first frame are both hideous, because Trey and the Teahadis deserve nothing better.

You're welcome.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

RIP Blinky, take 2

Since you lot were so enamored with my previous seizure-inducing ode to Blinky the wonder tag, here's something even worse! A twitching, blinking, color-shifting monstrosity that will terribly frighten and/or nauseate all viewers. Be sure to share it with your friends!

Much like last time, we first simply apply a "class" tag to any elements we want this technique to apply to. But to really fuck things up we throw a whole shitload of nested <div> tags in the mix:

<div class='blonk'>
<div class='blonk'>
<div class='blonk'>
(etc...)
<p class='blonk'>Some shit goes here</p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
(etc...)

And then we write just a tiny bit more code, simiilar but much worse than the last:

<script type="text/javascript">
//Two timers to make it kinda jerky and twitchy:
var longdelay=100; // change to adjust speed
var shortdelay=10;

var delay=longdelay;
var positive = 0;

// Evil array of evil color evilness:
var colors=["#ff00ff","#ffff00","#00ffff","#880088","#ff8800","#ff0000","#00ff00","#0000FF"];
var c=0;
function blonk() {
  var annoyances = document.getElementsByClassName('blonk');
  for (var i=annoyances.length - 1; i>=0; i--) {
    var b = annoyances[i];
    b.style.border="0.5em solid " + colors[c];
    if (positive === 1) {
      b.style.visibility = (b.style.visibility === 'visible') ? 'hidden' : 'visible';
      positive = 0;
    } else {
      b.style.visibility = (b.style.visibility === 'hidden') ? 'visible' : 'hidden';
      positive = 1;
    }
    if (i>=c) { // make the blinking a bit twitchy
      delay=(longdelay * 3)/2.5 + (shortdelay *c);
    } else {
      delay=shortdelay;
    }
    if (c < colors.length) {
      c++;
    } else {
      c=0;
      positive=1;
    }
    b.style.color=colors[c];
   }
   window.setTimeout(blonk, delay);
}

blonk();
</script>

And the result is gloriously, hideously, afwul!

Now that's just plain fucked up!