Light(er) posting

I'm moving. There will be even fewer shitty posts than normal around here for a while. I know you're all terribly upset.

I guess I'll be nice awful and make sure you all know about the Cards Against Humanity's Holiday Bullshit for this year (hurry, less than 200,000 left, they'll go quick).

To tide you over until I post again, here is a mesmerizing picture of the McKenzie river I took a couple months ago:

(click to embigginate)

That is all, we now return you to your regularly scheduled blogoscape. See you on the flipside, if I survive.

Wimp-out Wednesday

I'm gonna be lazy and outsource today's blogging. Huge surprise, I know.

First, if you're not reading Jesus And Mo, you should be:

b) This is a pretty good McSweeney's column about guns. A tidbit:

Three years ago, my wife and I got concealed-carry firearms permits. A lot of people have asked why we did that. The answer is short: we did it because of a weekend column in the newspaper. Plus, we wanted to do something new, and we weren’t afraid of guns.

The official gun evangelist answer, on the other hand, is longer: “Why not a concealed carry? Are they trying to infringe upon your sacred Second Amendment right to Keep And Bear Arms, bestowed upon you and all of your Fellow Citizens by God Himself, as He directed our Founding Fathers to ensure Freedom from Tyranny for all Freedom-loving Patriots who need to defend Themselves and their Families from the Government and the Maniacs that lurk outside our homes across this Beloved Nation and—"

While that tirade continues, back to the short answer. It was summertime, and one night as my wife and I sat on the front porch reading our local newspaper (on our laptop screens because the “paper” only exists in binary code now) I caught one of those Things to Do This Weekend pieces that typically run in the Friday issue of any paper.

[...]

Read the whole, etc., blah.

Or not. What the fuck do I care?

Can't we just...

...give peas a chance?

(And a collective groan is heard all 'round the blogoverse.)

Thankless Thursday

[tap tap tap]... Is this thing on?

Oh, ok, good. [ahem]

I'm still alive. Here's some random shit:

This comic made me think of a certain electrician.

The world continues to fall apart, but you knew that.

Continuing the theme from that last post several eons ago, I seem to be managing to gather even more gems of spammy wisdom. Here are some excellent pieces of advice that come with lots of links to boner pills:

• The earliest recipe for fruit idiot dates to the mid seventeenth century.
• Approach them to trigger the fight, then duck back into the hallway. After a breakup, you are emotionally upset and your ex boyfriend is angry.
• Seems like the same paralysis is also happening at the local and state level.
• Lately, he has been pretty good with other dogs and such. This is ok if you know where your arrest warrant was issued but it's a whole different story if you aren't sure where the warrant might be.
• Many users have also said that this shampoo is less drying. Ιf you have an anal yeast infection you will also have redness and purple patches of small blisters.

There you have it -- from "fruit idiot" recipes, to dog's with arrest warrants, to anal infections. How can I top that? I might as well just outsource the whole blog to JanusNode at this point.

Carry on.

Belated Independence Day Filler

Things are crazy and looking to be that way for a while. Here, have a comic from Wondermark (alternately, how I honor independence by being dependent on others for content):

Woo, filler. Yay.

Fuckit, it's Filler Friday!

Here, have one of my favorite covers of Pink Floyd's "Dogs":

For some reason I just love this version. It's still true to the original, but has its own personality. The whole "set 2" of the Live Frogs album is a cover of the "Animals" album, and I love it.

Also, too: As additional filler, I guess it's time to dust off this gun control rant of mine from a couple years ago. I guess I should just put that as a constantly available link in the blog template, since we're just gonna get more and more of these fucked up mass killings until we're all finally staring at each other at some massive standoff or something. Fuck.

For some reason...

...this song has been running through my head ever since I watched the morning news:

I can't possibly imagine why that would be.

The Reverse Boehner

Tengrain over at Mock Paper Scissors posted the original video of Weepy McStagger, but I wanted to see what it looked like reversed:

Now I think it looks like he's saying "I think I did a pretty good job?" which is even more appropriate. And the look at the end is priceless. Alternate ideas of what he might be saying/thinking in this reverse universe are of course welcome.

Ancient Technology Tuesday, Take Two

Employees of Oregon Beer Snob Enterprises®© LOL, LLC will not further discuss any appearances by employees at computer camp in the summer of '84 and will also not discuss or fondly remember sexy shenanigans between young beersnobs and female(s) of the nerdy kind at said camp.

Also: youth is wasted on the young.

Forgotten Fabulousness Friday

A lazy and undoubtedly non-reoccurring occasion where I reverse-sort my music library by number of plays and see what kind of shit I have laying around that I forgot about, and then make you listen to them:

Faith No More: Easy

Bobby Darin: More

Weezer: Undone

Monkey Wrench: It's Your Right. (an unfortunately shitty live recording is all I could find quickly)

William Clarke: Pawnshop Bound

Shellac: Watch Song

There! Plenty of variety for everybody to have something to hate.

Hmm...

I wonder what I'll be doing this week?

Nope, I have no idea, it's a total mystery.

[Long resigned sigh]

I'm back from vacation. I wish I wasn't.

What'd I miss? Nah, on second thought, don't tell me -- I'm sure it's all too depressing.

Hawaiian Humpday

So. Much. Food...

So I shut down my heart, and I turned on my TV

The title is a great lyric from the title track of the new punk/country album Mayberry by one of my all-time favorite local bands I Can Lick Any Sonofabitch In The House.

Here, have a listen, if the links to this site work:

I Can Lick Any SOB In The House – Mayberry
I Can Lick Any SOB In The House – Bones
I Can Lick Any SOB In The House – King James

Or y'know, just buy the damn thing, it's only $5.99 on emusic or you can spend more for it at CD Baby if you don't have an emusic subscription.

They don't have any ute oobs up yet of songs from the new album, but here's an acoustic version of the referenced song they recorded at Couch by Couchwest:

---

Updated: Dammit, the song links are all dead now, go figure. Just preview the song at emusic. Fuckit, here are some conciliatory videos from older albums:

Summer!

I see that M. Bouffant (and probably countless others) has beaten me to the punch, but I just don't care.

Oh well: today we celebrate that our lovely (for now) planet, tilted slightly on its axis, continues to rotate around the sun giving us Northern-hemispherians (suckit upsidedowners!) the delightful summer season, and the longest day of the year.

Alternately, you could think, "This sucks! It's hot! And now the days just get shorter again 'til December! Why doesn't Obama do something about the seasons? He's worse than Cheney McHitler!" But that would merely get you a well paying position at any of a wide variety of journamalistic organs, and we certainly wouldn't want that.

So anyway, yay, summer! Have some obscure versions of the classic "Summertime" -- I say "obscure" but I'm sure The Zombie has seen all these people live, even the ones that have been dead for 50 years. Regardless, I like how the song can be interpreted so many different ways and always be excellent.

Sidney Bechet:

Friends Of Dean Martin(ez):

(Side note: the band was originally "Friends Of Dean Martin" but then Dean Martin's estate sued them and they were forced to change it.)

Actually, this last one is not-obscure-at-all, Billie Holiday:

Now I'm gonna go camping and drink a bunch of beer. Surprise.

Blahg Post

Contents: music.

Explanatory paragraph punctuated with witty remark.

Why Not?

So evidently this is a thing.

I'll play along:

Meh.

It's Always Rainy In Oregon

Or, y'know, not.

Although we seem to have broken the planet, it looks like Oregon might be a pretty nice place to be, at least until the hordes of ravenous humanity fleeing the desolation of what was once California arrive.

Hopefully they won't show up until after the weekend. I have plans.

Nothin'

I have nothing positive to say about anything. So here, have a puppy in a bowl:

Filler

Urgh, Monday. Blargh.

Here, have three-plus hours of Frank Zappa to brighten up your day: