We're Number One!

We're number one! We're number one!

1. Oregon
Standout stat: 6.3 craft breweries per 100,000
It should be noted that our entire editorial staff (except for Kryza, who lives in Portland and likes to tell people about it) was actively rooting against Big O in this ranking. It leads any booze-related national conversation on the strength of its unassailably dense beer scene, but OR's also third in wineries, fifth in distilleries, and 13th in bars per capita. Oh, did we mention craft beer and wine alone account for $4.6 billion in economic impact each year, and Oregonians drink 2.65 gallons of booze? Because it does, and they do. Basically, it's a big, boozy bully, and we wanted to take it down a peg or several. But the numbers don't lie -- The Beaver State is America's Booziest.

Suck it, you buncha sober losers. :-b

In a related study, extensive research has found that buying a new house and moving for the first time in eleventy-zillion years results in a dramatic increase in quantity of alcohol consumed. The study is ongoing, with an additional focus on examining any correlation between types of remodeling projects and choices of beverage.