Tuesday, November 18, 2014

We're Number One!

We're number one! We're number one!

1. Oregon
Standout stat: 6.3 craft breweries per 100,000
It should be noted that our entire editorial staff (except for Kryza, who lives in Portland and likes to tell people about it) was actively rooting against Big O in this ranking. It leads any booze-related national conversation on the strength of its unassailably dense beer scene, but OR's also third in wineries, fifth in distilleries, and 13th in bars per capita. Oh, did we mention craft beer and wine alone account for $4.6 billion in economic impact each year, and Oregonians drink 2.65 gallons of booze? Because it does, and they do. Basically, it's a big, boozy bully, and we wanted to take it down a peg or several. But the numbers don't lie -- The Beaver State is America's Booziest.

Suck it, you buncha sober losers. :-b

In a related study, extensive research has found that buying a new house and moving for the first time in eleventy-zillion years results in a dramatic increase in quantity of alcohol consumed. The study is ongoing, with an additional focus on examining any correlation between types of remodeling projects and choices of beverage.

9 comments:

  1. Shush. Wisconsin tops you slackers at an average of 3 gallons of booze er year.

    We also are WAY ahead of everyone else in brandy drinking and binge drinking...

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    Replies
    1. I bet you guys also beat us out on passing out in the snow and freezing to death too.

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    2. Not quite. But every year there are a few older guys who have a cardiac event while shoveling...

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  2. I visited Stone in San Diego recently. I am not worthy to comment on OR beer until I can get the delicious taste of the smoked porter out of my mouth. (It was delicious, did I mention that?)

    Rgds,

    Tengrain

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    Replies
    1. Mmm, that is a good one. I also really like their "Sublimely Self Righteous." If you like that kind of thing, check out any of the dark stuff brewed by "Crux" from Bend, OR if you ever see any up North.

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    2. It was beer week down there. I love serendipity. I was there to help a favorite niece pack up to move back home, but we spent at least as much time touring the beer gardens as we did packing.

      Rgds,

      TG

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  3. Good luck with the move! The whole process sucks donkey dongs.

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    Replies
    1. The donkeys kind of like it, though...

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    2. Thanks! We successfully moved. We're now in the delightful stage of "where the fuck is that thing I need very much right the fuck now?" living. Hopefully with the turkey-day long weekend coming up I'll be able to make some sense out of the chaos.

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By commenting here you're legally bound to buy me lots of yummy beer.