Thursday, December 17, 2015

Zappadan: Zoot Allures, live Tokyo, 1976

Zoot Allures should be familiar to everybody, but I hadn't heard this recording. I like its (relatively) mellow instrumental deliciousness. Legend has it that the original Zoot Allures that appeared on the album of the same name was this same (or very similar) recording, but edited for length to fit on the record. Who knows.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Getting Into The Holiday Spirit

(from Hungover Bear and Friends at McSweeney's.)

Zappadan: Another catch up

I was away so missed a few days, here's something I listened to on the plane, Kill Ugly Radio Collection -- three CD promo set, (3 hours worth! Hopefully that makes up for my absence):

Most of stuff in this collection will be very familiar to most/all fans, but there are some snippets of interviews and a couple of somewhat rarer items. One of them I share here, because it's just somehow so... relevant right now:

Now, this being nearly 30 years old, the attentive listener might note that, while close, the lyrics aren't a perfect fit for today, so I offer a slightly tweaked version below. Feel free to cue this one up with my adjusted lyrics for your next karaoke session:

(Y'know, that confinement loaf is real good stuff.  You oughta try some.)

They got lies so big
They don't make a noise
They tell 'em so well
Like a secret disease
That makes you go numb

With a big ol' lie
And a flag and a pie
And a bomb and a bible
Most folks are just liable
To buy any line
Any place, any time

When the lie's so big
As the Republican's base,
(that sinister place
Behind all the Jesus hurrah)

Could result in the end
To a worrisome trend
In which every American
Not born within
Could be punished in cruel and unusual ways
By this treacherous cretin
Who tells everyone
That he's Jesus' best friend

When the lies get so big
And the fog gets so thick
And the facts disappear
The Republican trick
Can be played out again
People, please tell me when
We'll be rid of these men!

Just who do they really
Suppose that they are?
And how do they manage to travel as far
As they seem to have come?
Were we really that dumb?

People, wake up
Figure it out
Racist fanatics
Around and about
The court house, the state house,
The congress, the white house

Criminal cranks
With a dastardly mission --
A nation enraptured
By pure superstition

(Do you believe in the INVISIBLE ARMY?)

When the lie's so big
And the fog so thick
And the facts get forgotten
The Republican trick
(Ketchup is a vegetable)
Can be played out again
People, please tell me when
We'll be rid of these men!

Bonus points if you can figure out what (few) words I changed without resorting to the original's lyrics sheet (hint: it's not hard).

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Breakfast

Gotta get a civilized beer in before I head to parts unknown. I hope I'll find something good at my destination, but its better to be safe than sorry.

Friday, December 11, 2015

Zappadan: Florentine Pogen, and then some

I'm gonna be traveling a bit, so I'll have to catch up again once I get back. Hopefully these will tide you over.

I originally heard this on the One Size Fits All album (one of my all time faves). Love how weird and random the lyrics are, yet the song is still catchy/tuneful enough to get thoroughly stuck in my head.

First version is live from Harrisburg, PA, in '74.

This second version is "the fast version" -- recorded in Kansas City, earlier in '74:

And you know you just want to hear a recording of that entire KC concert, dontcha? Of course you do (Warning: the recording quality on this is a bit suspect -- lots of crowd noise, the band sounds OK but the vocals are a bit soft. Oh well.):

I'm gonna be traveling a bit, so I'll probably be absent for a while here and have to catch up again once I get back. Hopefully these will tide you over if I can't get.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Zappadan: The Alternate Freak Out

A bootleg vinyl released a few years back. Supposedly sourced from different masters of the original recordings of the '66 version. Also different (better?) track order:

See also, M. Bouffant with a similar, yet different Zappadan post, as is becoming usual.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Zappadan: Sofa

This is Steve Vai's take on the Sofas, I think the original two were from the One Size Fits All album. Nice cover version/interpretation though.

Unfortunate typo

It's really too bad the typo made it to the cover. Maybe they couldn't figure out how to typeset an umlaut?

Monday, December 7, 2015

Zappadan catch up

Missed a couple days, so I'll play catch up with a few longish ones.

First up: Black Napkins. I first heard this song as track 10 of the Make A Jazz Noise Here album. This version was recorded live in Philly in '76, and is quite a bit different (nearly thrice as long, for one thing) from that other one. It also has a brief spoken intro where Frank talks about playing the song on TV the night before. I think this is a far superior version, actually. It's got some amazing solo work, especially violin by Eddie Jobson at ~6:30 or so. If you only listen to one of today's, make it this one.

B: the entire Trance Fusion album. It's mostly all guitar stuff.

III -- the whole The Grand Wazoo album, from '72. In this, track 6 (at ~22:00 in) kinda ties back in with that first one, since the first time I heard this song was as track 9 of the Make A Jazz Noise Here album. This time it's the original studio version.

Friday, December 4, 2015

MOAR Zappadan!

I just found this bunch of unreleased stuff (via the Zappadan facehell page). Had to share:

Unreleased Zappa by Nigel_Rampant on Mixcloud

Zappadan!

For the first official day of Zappadan (I am semi-reliably told this day of Frank's death is "BummerNacht"), I present to you some delightful peaches:

The original, from Hot Rats:

Live from the Fillmore East:

And one of my favorites, the similar-but-different "Peaches III" from Tinseltown Rebellion:

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Happy Zappadan Eve!

Yes, I am starting early, what of it? It's that or talk yet again about guns, and I just... can't right now.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

An idea that's so stupid it just might work

Idea:

  1. Trick the pants-pissing right wingers into passing some actual gun control law that applies only to Syrian muslims.
  2. Obviously unconstitutional law will get challenged all the way to the supreme court.
  3. Only the part about the Syrian Muslims gets stricken.
  4. SPARKLEPONIES FOR EVERYONE!

I know, I know. But hey, a guy can dream.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

PYRAMID POWER!

Regarding this, from Tengrain, I did some searching and unearthed a rare photo of Ben meditating:

Edit: see also: d r i f t g l a s s. Original credit goes to M.Bouffant's comment at alicublog pointing us to the buzzfeed article.

[sorta cross-posted at Sadly, No!]

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Eek! A snake!

This image is offered as proof that people who think GIFs are "a curse upon humanity" are objectively despicable. But we already knew that.

winning snake

Dear FSM I forgot how much time I used to waste playing that game. Also, too: you can play it in your browser, of course.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Arrooo! Breaking! Arrooo!

Donald Trump now guaranteed Republican nomination:

Bill "Always Wrong" Kristol seals our fate

In the video (no, I'm not gonna link it, it's at MSNBC) his statement elicited hearty laughter from the hosts. They know what's up. What nobody knows is why anybody still talks to ol' Always Wrong Willie.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Friday Freakshow

Maybe I'll just turn this blog into "all weird animations, all the time." -- or not. We'll see.

Anyway, here's Wonderwall another spider:


(click to... oh, you know the fuckin' deal)

Friday, September 25, 2015

Thursday, September 24, 2015

A thing

Thanks to the good folks at Riddled I found out about this doohicky. So I made this:


(click to embiggify)

The Helix Nebula never looked so good.

You're welcome.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Beer Week

2015 Corvallis Beer Week is here.

If the blog seems even less active (as if!) or less coherent than normal, this is why. Sorry, not sorry.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

These are a few of my favorite things

Thing 1) the "Post a video to keep the blog from dying" gambit.

Thing 2) Seizure-inducing videos and crazy animation

Thing 3) Frank Zappa

As you may have guessed by now, here are all three (the wacky animation bit starts about the 2:35 minute mark):

Thursday, August 27, 2015

So tempting

Wait, no, not "tempting" that other thing that's the opposite of that.

I mean it's true that they give you a "side of the news that you just can't find anywhere else" -- the greasy, racist, Cheeto®-stained, basement-dwelling side is just so, so unrepresented in print these days. Oooh, ooh, they have "unsurpassed book and movie reviews" too! I do so wish I could stay up-to-date with the latest in shitty right-wing "entertainment" gossip.

Alas, I think I'll have to pass.

Friday, July 24, 2015

Friday not-so-funnies

Via the Web of Evil we find a really delightful set of super inspiring photos taken on 9/11/2001. A couple of them even had speech/thought bubbles!


(click to make readable)

Oh, wait, no -- I added those.

You know what's missing from all those photos? A single tear. A sign of any emotion other than cold, calculating strategery.

Also, there are exactly two pictures of chief counter-terrorism adviser on the National Security Council, Richard Clarke -- one of which you see here. There are a few more of Prez Shrub, but not a ton. Plenty of pics of the "advisors/speechifiers" though, which were the important folk, natch. Cheney was clearly the main main in charge (as if we didn't know that already). These photos are a really interesting/disturbing look into the behind-the-scenes of that day.

Friday Funnies

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

In case you didn't know you needed these, there are many, many more here. Many/most of them are horribly, terribly, awful. You're welcome.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Tardy Tuesday

I was camping in the middle of nowhere and completely off the grid over the long weekend, so a belated happy Independence Day to all.

Here, have a picture. I hear that's worth a large number of words:

(click to embigginate)

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Legal!

Happy legal Oregon pot day!

Of course, since our ever-efficient state government is involved, we can't actually legally purchase pot at a dispensary yet (unless you already have a medical card). They're supposedly 18 months away from having pot available at liquor stores too. Evidently the current medical dispensaries that are all over the place are set to start selling soon(ish), but we'll see.

For now, it's legal to grow (up to four plants) and smoke your own though, so I'll take it. Now, where to find some good seed varieties and/or plant starts...

Friday, June 26, 2015

Friday, June 19, 2015

Fuck Everything Friday

I guess it's that day again. It's almost like there's some sort of inherent problem with American society that a few people are willing to occasionally mumble niceties about and then quietly pretend doesn't exist. Whatever could it be?

Oh well. I guess I'll just say again what I said before:

See also: Paleo

See also, too: The Rude Pundit

Oh, an additional thing. Hey, Guvna Haley: you said on the "news" this morning that it's a time for "healing" and not politics in regard to the fucking racist fucking flag flying at the SC statehouse. You know what would be a really good, healing thing to do? Take the fucking flag down, you shitstain! Shorter, me:

Or like teh zombie says: Fuck. Everything.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

I get fun spam (part 2 of ???)

Looks like I'm invited to some sort of prestigious shiding:

(click to embigginate)

I s'pose all of you louts could come too, now that you know about it. Keep it on the downlow though, wouldn't want the riffraff showing up.

Remember your green bowtie -- very important.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Thoughtless Thursday

I really need to post some creative, well thought-out shit someday.

Instead, here's some music you'll hate:

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Sorry I forgot the anniversary, Helen.

I forgot that the 35th anniversary of this was yesterday:

I was 10. As a native Oregonian, I had direct, but minor, experience with the volcano leading up to its final huge eruption. It had spewed ash sporadically over the previous year or so, and on several occasions we got to experience the ash fall down in Oregon due to wind changes. Thankfully, for us, the wind blew the ash cloud to the east on the 18th, so we didn't get the after effects that places like Spokane, Washington did. Those guys, as well as many areas near to the mountain, were seriously fucked. Multiple feet of ash blanketed everything, and that shit is nasty. Destroyed vehicles, ruined crops, just generally fucked with the area for a long, long time.

For years later, every time we'd head north we could see these towering piles of ash alongside Interstate 5 and around the towns near the mountain until vegetation finally grew on them. The ash is still there though, just under a layer of grass/shrubs/trees. I still have a jar of it somewhere that I collected from a roadside that summer.

Oh, and 57 people died. A couple of idiot locals that refused to leave, but also scientists studying the mountain, unfortunately.

Can't believe it's been 35 years already. I feel old.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Blues Boy

Help The Poor: (original)

Help The Poor: (later instrumental version)

Guitar purists will complain that he probably couldn't play a chord to save his life -- whatever. Dude was still a legend. R.I.P.

Friday, May 1, 2015

Happy May Day

Here, as a gift, have a puppy that doesn't understand hiccups (or hiccoughs if you're grammatically so inclined):

You're welcome.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Thirsty Thursday

Light (hah! as if there's any other kind) posting due to things and business and such as. Normal sparse posting will recommence as soon as this beer goes flat:

Also, too: The beer pictured, Ballast Point's "Sculpin" IPA, is actually quite good. Not good enough to live up to its hype, but I don't know that anything could. Tasty though.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

For the record

(alternate post title "Truthful Tuesday")

I, your humble host have never:

  • Been in the Army
  • Been in the Navy
  • Been in the Air Force
  • Been in the Marines
  • Been in the Special Forces
  • Been in combat in any capacity whatsoever
  • Thought it would be neat to lie and brag about any of the above
  • Considered the possibilities of career enhancement by lying about any of the above
  • Tried to impress members of the opposite sex by lying about any of the above
  • Lied about any of the above in any way

Y'know, just in case the powers that be need a replacement for Lyin' Williams, or Bill O'Lieree, or that putz in charge of the VA, or any of the other rich serial "misrememberers" out there -- call me.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Guvna

So, uh, there was a scandal. So sad, we're all terribly devastated here. It's awful, really. Rending of garments, wailing in the streets, dumping out of craft beer pints, ritual flannel sacrifice, etc.

Oh, wait, no it's not. Yeah, so, other than the Oregonian, and Willamette Week newspapers, pretty much nobody I know gives a shit. Everybody I've talked to about this has the following reaction: "Oh, what? Really? Huh. Who's the new guvna?"

The woman pictured here, that's who, and that's where it gets good. Because of Kitzy's stupidity, we actually get a real, honest-to-FSM liberal female, Kate Brown, as Governor. And get this: She's also bisexual. First openly LGBT guvna in the whole damn USA. Woo! Yay Oregon!

So, if that's the outcome of this scandal, I think we need more scandal around here. Sorry Kitz, you were a good guy, that (mostly) did good work, but you went and fucked up. Hope for your sake you don't go to prison, but that's about it.

The Governor is dead, long live The Governor!

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Uh....

I know this show was pretty bad:

But is it really worth going to war over, 40 years later? I mean, The Love Boat seems like a more deserving target, if you think about it.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Wayback Wednesday, part eleventy zillion

I listened to this excellent song this morning, then tracked it down on the Ute Oobs for you:

Good shit. Carry on.

Friday, February 6, 2015

Bad Brewing Backlash

To follow on from my last item, it looks like I wasn't the only one to take note of the stupid Bud commercial:

Ninkasi (Eugene, Oregon):

Hopstories (Made by videographers from Corvallis! Woo! Featuring lots of different Oregon breweries):

A funny take on "Pumpkin peach ale" from Double Mountain (Hood River, Oregon):

(Dammit -- it's on Facehell -- so no embed for me -- have a linky instead.)

And lastly, a delightful spoof of sappy the "dogs and horses" Bud commercial, from Mason City brewing in Iowa:

Well done peeps, well done.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Superb Owl Re-cap

That was weak. The gratuitous display of mating plumage at the end didn't help. Whatever, maybe we'll get better owls next year.

So now, to review the commercials. They sucked. Except this one:

It's fucking brilliant!

"But... but OBS!" you ask, startled "Doesn't Budweiser embody everything you hate about American beer and its 'culture' forever and ever, nigh unto eternity?"

Of course it does! But that's what makes this great. This ad proves Budweiser is losing. Just to start with, douchebag mustachioed hipsters don't fuss over craft beer, they guzzle PBR!

But to delve deeper, let's analyze this just a bit. The beginning of the commercial is classic -- we have a small pile of malted barley and a handful of whole hop flowers. Good wholesome ingredients used by fine brewers everywhere. And "beechwood aging" -- so... fancy! But! There are problems with this vision:

  • First, Bud doesn't even use whole hop flowers. They use hop oil extracts. They buy giant batches of hops that have been crushed and had their oils extracted, shipped in huge drums. The only thing they care about is the bittering oils that come from hops -- you use whole hops if you want the complex flavors and aromas they contain.
  • B: They may use some malted barley, but only the cheapest, crappiest you can buy, bred and malted especially for them to produce the simplest, most flavorless malt you can imagine. And then they actually supplement the hell out of it with rice sugar. 'Cause they're cheap, and American Budweiser drinkers care only for marketing, not beer.
  • iii) Yes, Bud is the only beer "Beechwood aged" -- because why the fuck would you age beer in beechwood, you useless shits? So you can say that? Does it impart some sort of delightful woody characters, like a fine wine might show its oak? No! It's a pure gimmick, nothing more.

"OK, OBS, we get that you think that's stupid, but you said this commercial is great!?"

Yes, yes I did, and it is. Because it means we're winning. Beer drinkers of America finally have amazing choices, all over the country. Doesn't matter what you like (even pumpkin peach ale, whatever the fuck that is -- sounds disgusting), you can get it anywhere. Random Chinese restaurants have multiple craft taps. Convenience stores have stocked shelves of microbrews sitting next to their piles of cheap wine. It's a great time to be a beer drinker. And hell, if you actually like Bud, you could even get a proper American Light Lager, brewed at a locally-owned spot and keep the profits in your region instead of sending them back to Belgium to make more commercials.

Bud knows this. And they're scared.

What they don't tell you in this commercial, is that they're buying up craft breweries as fast as they can. Two unfortunate examples that hit close to home for some of us bloggers (hi Tengrain!) are Elysian brewing of Seattle, and 10 Barrel brewing from Bend, Oregon. Yet they just spent millions on a Superb Owl commercial making fun of the clientele of those breweries. Why? To work both sides, to try to keep the yokels swilling their cheaply-produced shit, while getting a foot in the door with the rapidly growing craft brewing world.

As the (slightly modified) saying goes:

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win, then their children claim it was their idea all along.

That's why this commercial is so great.

Cheers!

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Warm up, then shut up

Yes, we get it. It's snowing on the east coast. I made you a fire so you could warm up.

Now, could we please put something else on the news? I'm sure there are other things going on in the country, and there's also this whole other place called "the rest of the fucking world" that really doesn't give a shit.

Thanks.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Just your average Tuesday

Somebody said something about some event or something being on the TV machine tonight, but I couldn't find it. What did I miss?

Friday, January 16, 2015

Like a...

...this blog will rise from the dead, someday. Until then, you should play the game (right in your browser!) which was one of my absolute favorites as a kid.

Carry on.