Thursday, April 11, 2013

RIP Blinky, take 2

Since you lot were so enamored with my previous seizure-inducing ode to Blinky the wonder tag, here's something even worse! A twitching, blinking, color-shifting monstrosity that will terribly frighten and/or nauseate all viewers. Be sure to share it with your friends!

Much like last time, we first simply apply a "class" tag to any elements we want this technique to apply to. But to really fuck things up we throw a whole shitload of nested <div> tags in the mix:

<div class='blonk'>
<div class='blonk'>
<div class='blonk'>
(etc...)
<p class='blonk'>Some shit goes here</p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
(etc...)

And then we write just a tiny bit more code, simiilar but much worse than the last:

<script type="text/javascript">
//Two timers to make it kinda jerky and twitchy:
var longdelay=100; // change to adjust speed
var shortdelay=10;

var delay=longdelay;
var positive = 0;

// Evil array of evil color evilness:
var colors=["#ff00ff","#ffff00","#00ffff","#880088","#ff8800","#ff0000","#00ff00","#0000FF"];
var c=0;
function blonk() {
  var annoyances = document.getElementsByClassName('blonk');
  for (var i=annoyances.length - 1; i>=0; i--) {
    var b = annoyances[i];
    b.style.border="0.5em solid " + colors[c];
    if (positive === 1) {
      b.style.visibility = (b.style.visibility === 'visible') ? 'hidden' : 'visible';
      positive = 0;
    } else {
      b.style.visibility = (b.style.visibility === 'hidden') ? 'visible' : 'hidden';
      positive = 1;
    }
    if (i>=c) { // make the blinking a bit twitchy
      delay=(longdelay * 3)/2.5 + (shortdelay *c);
    } else {
      delay=shortdelay;
    }
    if (c < colors.length) {
      c++;
    } else {
      c=0;
      positive=1;
    }
    b.style.color=colors[c];
   }
   window.setTimeout(blonk, delay);
}

blonk();
</script>

And the result is gloriously, hideously, afwul!

Now that's just plain fucked up!

4 comments:

  1. What nonnie? I think you're imagining things...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Has the fuckedupedness of OBS been mentioned lately?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not the one that said something about a challenge...

      I may have to make these a recurring feature.

      Delete

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